#8 - Calm

A.K.A. Back to made up transfer rumours.

Has everyone got over the Michael Owen transfer now? Just checking.

Firstly. A new winger may well be on our way as Bordeaux's president says Gabriel Obertan (pictured - get it?) is on his way here. Obviously, with the lack of goals in every match, I don't really watch the Ligue Un. So I have no idea if he's good. I also refuse to believe YouTube. Either way, he'll probably be cheap.

Still this news surprised Laurent Blanc although he's probably not been paying attention as he'll be spending until August 31st hiding the fact that Yoann Gourcuff is brilliant.

The press though, continue to link us with more strikers. Moody Samuel Eto'o has once again been linked with us. Though this is going against our Berbatov "last of his kind" policy.

Another, far more likely option is Klaas-Jan Huntelaar. Football Manager 07's favourite. With him being unlikely to get a shout in the Madrid starting eleven because he's dutch and not as good as Benzema. Although it all really depends on what team Real Madrid's secret manager Raul decides to pick anyway.

Sticking with Real Madrid, unknown-Portuguese winger Cristiano Ronaldo finalised his move to Madrid in a naturally over-the-top fashion in front of 75,000 people. It must really pain other clubs who can barely fill out their stadium to know that if they'd payed £80m they might have sold out for once. Ronaldo will be taking up #9 since Raul is also secretly the King of Spain.

Either way Cristiano Ronaldo has shown about 9x as much grace in leaving (that includes punching a photographer) than Carlos Tevez has. On a related note. Why hasn't he signed for City yet?

Assuming we still want Ribery (which we shouldn't do) then apparently Bayern Munchen have got out their pricing guns and wrote "£69,000,000" on Ribery's face. With laughter from Madrid being heard in Manchester.

In gob-smacking news. News that will shake the foundations to the very core. This news is probably 8.9 at the least on the Richter scale. Lee Martin has completed his move to Roy Keane's Ipswich Town. Roy Keane is still too lazy to look for players anywhere else.

In more stupid news. Apparently nobody is buying Michael Owen shirts. This is almost certainly because he doesn't have a number and it would be stupid to have a shirt with just Owen and a blank space on the back. Oh, the Sun. Get back to reporting about Michael Jackson's "ghost". This is why I have the Guardian linked on this site instead.

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