Monday, 29 November 2010

Other Stuff

Just so you know, I've done a piece of on the Real Madrid yellow card fiasco (which is probably entirely overshadowed by tonight's clasico result).

You can read it here.

I may well do more for whoever if they want it.

I'm plugging!

Sunday, 28 November 2010

#47 - Seven

There was another draw this weekend for Manchester United, but it was in the FA Cup (pictured - I have no idea who that kid is, but he does look like the FA Cup - I posted an example of the FA Cup so I'm not just a guy who posts a photo of some random child). As United got a home draw to mid-table strugglers, Liverpool.

The most important news of the week in a weekend with less clean sheets then your bog-standard average brothel was of course that thanks to a 7-1 drubbing of future Internazionale or Real Madrid (or both) manager, Sam Allardyce's Blackburn Rovers.

Dimitar Berbatov got a record (for a foreign player) 5 goals, although knowing the eternal style and class of Dimitar Berbatov he probably only did it as a tribute to his favourite Beethoven symphony. Or perhaps Berbatov is just trying to get all his goals out of the way in one go so he can spend the rest of the season relaxing and eating caviar.

It also marked the first game in which Anderson became less obsessed with "Fuck fuck fuck" and back to playing the kind of football we all knew he was capable of.

United also this week completed the signing of Anders Lindegaard for an undisclosed fee. No doubt Anders' former club Aalesund will be hoping it's not undisclosed to them. The Denmark international may well be in charge of gaarding the United goal after Van Der Sars retirement, 6 years from now.

Understandably it's hard for most UK based media outlets to know anything about football in Denmark or Norway, where Aaesund are from, meaning BBC also struggled to come up with a good quote for 606 on their report of the signing. Opting to go with this user's quote "
Personally a good signing, I watched one of his games, he is very good on his toes". The user admitting their to only seeing one of Lindegaard's matches. A full one more than many. Of course, as far as Sir Alex is concerned lately, watching players isn't that important. As in the case of Bebe.

The signing of Lindegaard though, of course adds to the possibility of Edwin Van Der Sar, the first ever goalkeeper in football, being likely to retire at the end of the season. A day that should be annually celebrated with recreations of the Anelka penalty save by all the world's citizens.

Oh. And here's your Christmas Gift, everyone. Enjoy.

This blog has been brought to you by;
  • Original Crash Bandicoot.
  • The new Tigers Jaw album.
  • Wishing for snow.

Monday, 15 November 2010

#46 - Draws

More draws than an Ikea catalogue. More draws than Art Attack. More draws than a spaghetti western. More drawing then the end of Braveheart. More equality than Affirmative Action.

There's are all terrible jokes to impress your friends about the recent form of Manchester United. With more D's than an issue of playboy.

I will stop now. This isn't the jokes-not-even-James-Richardson-would-say blog. Although that would be a good blog.

United had come off the possibly dullest game of the season that doesn't involve Deportivo la Coruna against Manchester City in which they had been slightly the better side. The 3 men in the midfield easily matching up if not bettering City's more defensive-minded midfielders.

The momentum of this draw was carried on after being battered by a young Aston Villa side "hard bastard" Kiko Macheda and the obvious basis for Bryan Fury, Nemanja Vidic got two goals back to equalise and keep the good streak up. The term "Shit Invincibles" is being branded around, and it's not too far off. We've the most clear as day below par midfield out of the bigger teams and probably need to be playing the 4-5-1/4-3-3 for every game that's not against a bunch of peons.

The draw though, wasn't a disaster. Thanks to Steve Bruce, Kieran Richardson, Danny Welbeck, and probably a fair few other United and ex-United men's Sunderland. They romped to a 3-0 victory over an absent (though not literally) Chelsea side. Welbeck bagging the third and Zenden also making all white men sigh as the whitey-can't-dance cliche lives on forever more.

News now focuses on Wayne Rooney's probable return against Wigan Athletic. A return that will be greeted likely with cheers and jeers. It's entirely handly that those two words rhyme. Assuming he had a succesful stay in Nike Town. Which I assume is a lot like Adidas City or possibly Legoland.

News as well that the beloved Glazers have payed off the £220m PIK loan. I don't have any idea what this means so for better analysis.. read a newspaper or Andersred. I'll just shrug and agree with whatever everyone else says.

So now what to do? Well it's an International Break so it's best to do just go to sleep until Friday. Games so dull, it's absorbed all my energy. Night night.

This blog has been brought to you by;
  • Cherry Coke, and wishing there was Cherry Pepsi in England.
  • Wondering what to get for Christmas.

Sunday, 7 November 2010

#45 - Resurrection

Many may not know this but back in my day there was a strong brave player called Owen Hargreaves (pictured - old game covers a current theme). He had curly hair made of tungsten and breathed fire out of his mouth. He had 17 different accents which he used simultaneously, whilst still managing to sound a bit like Ryan Giggs. He was everyone's favourite England player, which made sense since he's a Canadian. And his Dad is from Bolton. Which means half of his body is made up of pasties. Probably his knees. And on the Saturday he was briefly resurrected.

Manchester United had come off a 3-2 away win to Rochdale. Wait? What? Nevermind.

Manchester United had come off a 3-0 away win to Bursaspor. Which is maybe Turkey's Rochdale. Obertan, Bebe, and *thick scottish accent* DARREN FLETCHAR! scoring the 3 goals in what was a relatively easy win and pretty much all but puts us through into the group stages.

Sam the Eagle's Wolverhampton Wanderers have been tricky opponents to ourselves in the Carling Cup as well as Chelsea earlier in the league and this game was no different.

Fortunately we have Ji-Sung Park, recipient of the 2010 Award for Most Slagged Off United Player Not Called John O'Shea or Darron Gibson or Despite Not Being at the Club Anymore, Mikael Silvestre. An award mostly won by Mikael Silvestre anyway. It was Park's late, late winner that gave us the 3 points so we could put our feet up and watch Chelsea play dire against Liverpool. Who were nice enough to do us the favour they should have done for us last season. Swines.

Of course all the talk of the match is the 5 minute cameo of Owen Hargreaves. In which not much really happened but his knees didn't implode on pitch as many had noticed. And unlike my earlier prediction his knees weren't transplanted with those of a gazelle. Still, I have a better made up rumour count then

It will no doubt strike many as odd that Hargo Embargo was thrown into the mix from the start without any reserve team football. It worked on Football Manager but probably not in real life, as we saw.

Bebe probably made the front page of the Daily Mail.. I mean Daily Heil.. no wait, Daily Mail. No actually, it is definitely called the Daily Heil, isn't it? That makes the most sense. Anyway as Bebe failed to score 9 goals in one of his first Premier League start we're all 100% sure he is a waste of money and we should throw him on the street so he can get beg me for money whilst I queue outside for a gig at Manchester Academy and have to remain very still in fear of him hearing the mass amount of change in my pockets jingle as I tell him "No, I don't have any money". In all due fairness, I'm not often at Academy.

Now we can all look forward to Wednesday's match against Bitter City. Who despite being able to beat West Brom aren't looking like whatever hyper bole Gary Cook gave them whenever. You know what I mean. He says lots of stupid stuff. Mario Balotelli could be out after his straight red, but probably not. That's how much sense the FA make.

Still seeing Tevez score before a Darren Fletcher brace, another Tevez goal and then a Chicharito winner should be fun for a wednesday evening in.

In genuinely great news, Antonio Valencia could be back as early as the end of February.

What's a Wayne Rooney?

This blog has been brought to you by;
  • Being too anxious to make my return after my last post was so long ago.
  • A burning rage against Northern Rail.
  • Looking forward to seeing The Riot Before play at the Oxford.