Nope, I'm not dead, but my laptop is (my reaction pictured)! Next post will probably be in a couple of weeks time.
When I'll be talking about Bebe's 7 goals against Everton, Anderson's clever ploys to hide his dreadlocks from Sir Alex, Paul Scholes as he picks out 1 bad pass... but it ends up to Rooney anyway, and Owen Hargreaves' new knee transplant... for the knees of a gazelle as well as the sensational the FIFA controversy on animal limb transplants - including Paddy Kenny's new pig skin face.
So stay tuned for that. It sounds like there will be an interesting couple of weeks ahead.