Thursday, 13 January 2011

#51 - Easy

So, the United vs. Liverpool rivalry rolls on, except last weekend it came and went fairly unspectacularly. Once again, a team pretty much sort-of let us win without us really having to get out of first gear, or even neutral. We pretty much didn't even get in the car, but just search the directions then decided to call a taxi instead. Still, Liverpool (pictured) made it even easier then most teams this season by conceding a penalty and then getting their captain sent off before whining and going home to bounce back to a, er, 2-1 defeat away to Blackpool.

Was it a penalty? Probably, yes. Well, by the law, yes. For some reason in England there's a culture of what many commentators say "could have got away with it [a yellow]". Yes Agger and Gerrard could have both gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky rules! Agger did make contact with Dimitar Berbatov, and did not win the ball. Penalty. Doesn't matter if Berbatov was too lazy to stay on his feet and maybe possibly score/assist anyway. It's how the game is.

Gerrard's was a certain red though. Jim Beglin's not-at-all-bias "I feel a yellow should have sufficed" after ITV had already screened a few replays, which I assume he did not see. In fact, many replays later he moved slightly up the scale to "he has a case there, the referee". Yes, Jim. His main case is that the tackle was textbook for a red card offence. Two feet lunge off the ground. Maybe if Michael Carrick's leg was shattered all over the pitch Jim may have been inclined to think it was warranting a red card. It's not the aftermath that should decide the punishment, it's what action is actually done.

Besides those nothing incidents, possibly given too much screen time for an otherwise average game - Liverpool looked a shadow not just of their former selves, but also of a shadow of many other teams as well. Not that I *enjoy* sticking the knife into Liverpool, I bloody love it.

So, besides the League Cup (which we're not even too arsed about when we win it) United remain unbeaten since the Chelsea game at the back end of last season. Not too shabby.

Goalkeeper's have been hogging pages of the internet lately, with Anders Lindegaard arriving and being on the bench against Liverpool, Tommy K trying to push to become the team's goalkeeper and Rene Adler telling the world his love for the club. They just never shut up those goalkeepers, do they?

Speaking of not shutting up, Sky Sports News is delighted when David Beckham does ANYTHING they can get their hands on. Giving no interest to Serie A or MLS as Sky never does, when Becks comes back to England they feast around him like a group of hungry ducks around a lovely thick pack Warburton's* bread delivered by an old lady who gets caught up in the feeding frenzy. Or something like that. So David Beckham, who always likes to say he would never play for another English club, may well be on the way to Spurs. Should we care? Not really. We should cheer him, but for the most part, as much was we love him, he's had his day. Which is a sad thing to say considering what a legend he was for us. Sometimes he even made the England national team likable, no mean feet indeed.

(((*Wikipedia (as of posting) has an amusing unsourced "fact" of Warburton's saying they won a Bread World Cup (better than the Rugby World Cup) against 32 other types of bread. Now firstly, that would be mean 33 teams (of bread?!) - which doesn't make sense in a knockout-round way. And secondly, who would bother? Although, thirdly, I can understand why it would have won.)))

The press, despite Fergie's statement that we probably won't sign anyone, are still linking us with... anyone. Southampton's brilliantly named Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (apparently not a 19th century philosopher, despite the name) is apparently on his way to a bigger club. Don't pretend you have insightful thoughts on whether he's good enough, you don't know yet! He has though, been described as the "next Theo Walcott" which is a lazy description in itself. I can't wait for the "next Jamie O'Hara"s or "next Gavin McCann"s to start crawling out of the woodwork in a few years time. The "next" tag should purely be used, used again, and used yet again for Diego Maradona. Isn't that right, Aimar? Messi? Tevez? Aguero? Saviola? D'Alessandro? And the many other players missed out.

Speaking of people not knowing if a player is good or not yet... Federico Macheda! The "hard bastard" as Fergie has once described him has gone away to Sampdoria on loan until the end of the season and managed an assist on his first substitute appearance for the club. Kiko Macheda is said by some United fans to be: no-way near United quality, because he's frankly not won any ballon d'ors yet and he's already 16 years too old for us anyway...... or by some United fans as: deserving another 5-10 seasons in the Reserves just to really see if he is ready or not to cut it. I exaggerate, but on the internet, you can't really tell anyway.

So what next for United? A game away to probably-David-Beckham-less-Spurs. Which will be a hugely tough game and perhaps a major turning (or unturning?) point in the title race. And it's a sunday so Sky Sports will be on the very best to hyperbole it as GAME OF THE FUCKING MILLENNIUM.

This blog has been brought to you by;
  • Tea & biscuits.
  • Louis CK
  • Wanting a real job.


  1. Welcome back CMO! In the future, please let us enjoy your wit at least once a week!

  2. You're refreshingly original. And funny. Keep it up! :)