Tuesday, 23 June 2009

#3 - Regularity

A.K.A. If people actually read it, you may as well write something semi-interesting.

With Setanta Sports (pictured live right now) losing it's rights to Premier League yesterday. Or maybe the day before. Maybe earlier. Today it has ceased transmission. Mickey Mouses' ESPN has taken over the rights for a few United games probably worth however much we have to pay. Unless everyone does what most people do now and just stream it from various sources. Most people though are just rejoicing on the streets that Steve McManaman will be nowhere near our television screens except from occasionally watching Premier League Years.

After alleging that United are "raping" brazillian football. Carlos Alberto will no doubt be horrified to hear the news of United being linked recently with every single brazillian player. Except Kleberson, obviously. Douglas Costa, Nilmar and Dodo being those most strongly linked with us. Who'd join up with Rafael, Fabio, Anderson and Rodrigo Possebon. Still compared to most clubs in Germany. Our "raping" of Brazil is surely just a little cheeky coping a feel of a breast? Surely more puling to come from Carlos Alberto. Pule is dictionary.com's word of the day.

In good news, Darron Gibson wants to extend his contract with us. This hopefully meaning we have a Darren Fletcher replacement ready, just in case he gets sent off for a brilliant tackle again.

Expected shortly is United being linked with every single dutch player coming out of Real Madrid. Ruud himself has called for an exodus of all dutch talent from Real Madrid. Except himself of course. Would a sneaky bid for Van der Vaart, Huntelaar, Wesley Sneijder (not Snipes) or Robben really be a bad thing? We know they're good players they're just no good under a rubbish Real Madrid side.

Steve Bruce is looking to increase the number of Sunderland's United linked stars to an even strangerly higher number with a swoop (why is the word swoop always used in these stories?) for Fraizer Campbell. Presumebly because they can both combine their surnames to form Bruce Campbell. The greatest actor of all time.

Lyon-born Lyon player Karim Benzema seems to want to stay at Lyon for another season. Before securing his dream move to Real Madrid, or Manchester United, or Barcelona, or Chelsea, or AC Milan, or Arsenal, or Interzationale, or CFR Cluj. Whichever club offers him the money and forces him to change his mind about what club he dreamed of as a boy.

So desperate was I for things to write about I resorted to.. Tribal Football. Yes, the Coronation Street of football rumours.

They seem to think we'll be after Everton's Jack Rodwell. Which means we are not after Everton's Jack Rodwell.

In international news...

No! Never!

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  1. Hilarious work so far. And definitely filling a hole in the Man United blogosphere, as everyone else takes themselves (too?) seriously. Keep it up.

  2. As one of those "too serious" bloggers i think we SHOULD be after Jack Rodwell, regardless of what Tribal Football might think. I wouldn't mind Sneijder either. Keep up the good work!

  3. Heh, I'd agree with you on that. But I magine David Moyes will be asking for a pretty hefty fee.

  4. Maybe we should make Moyes our next manager on the condition that he brings Rodwell with him.

  5. I wouldn't say no to that. He's probably the top (non big four) manager in the league. Martin O'Neill is one I'd consider too. Roy Hodgson would be a good shout if he wasn't ancient.